“Of course, I’m feeling uncomfortable. I’m not allowed on the couch.”

“Oh, these? I think they’re my obedience school diplomas.”

“Notice anything different?”

“No. He doesn’t look good. Try him in the convertible now.”

“I thought you said you were goal oriented.”

“Why don’t you come when I call?”

“Bad dog! Don’t bark during the Herbed Goat Cheese Souffle´.”

Tightly wound up dog on desert isle

“In obedience school he learned to heal.”

“He’s a water dog. That’s for sure.”

“Binky? Is there a Binky Sullivan here?”

“Is that your microchip or mine?”

“Do you have this in a smaller size?”

“Oh, while you were out you were replaced by a cuter puppy.”

“These dogs are like members of the family.”

“They got us our own panic room for thunder storms.”

“Eventually your dog will learn when ‘sit’ happens.”

Guidedog for the Blond

“I can’t eat that. It’s been genetically altered.”

“That’s just not right, Scottie.”

“She cries. I cry. She laughs. I laugh. She talks, but I’m not allowed to bark.”

“You know what I’d LOVE? I’d love a bowl of mineral water.”

“C’mon! It’s Earth Day!”

“Bone loss? You’ve come to the right place.”

“Hon, the pet sitters are here.”

“It’s Friday? That’s funny. I keep thinking it’s Saturday.”

“I can’t play. I’m a working dog.”

“I used to be a Shar-Pei until they gave me injections of ‘Botox’.”

“I can show love. I just can’t say it.”

“C’mon, Cory, let’s check your pee-mail.”