Suture Self
"Bone loss? You've come to the right place."
"Something for motion sickness?"
“One minute they’re in a nicotine deprivation experiment. Next minute they’re gone.”
Last Person Trying to Get Free Medical Advice for 100 Miles
“You call yourself a laboratory retriever? That’s a prescription pad, not a chem panel.”
House Call of the Wild
Specialist Directory: Cardiology, Dermatology, Hematology, Leeches
Will look up famous people who have what you have
“You really want laser surgery on your one good eye?”
“Have all the seats been taken?”
Catch of the Day
Charts Read by Fortuneteller
“I am Ignacio. I’ll be your guide.”
Packed Red Cells
Chicken Soup
“What do you mean, ‘paper or plastic’? Have you ever used condoms before?”
Insurance Hell
Medical Arts Building
Pet Imaging
“The award for best performance by a doctor in a TV interview goes to…”
“Shh. He’s undergoing tweetment.”
Self Serve Self Help
“Oh, great. He brought along his office ‘staph’ infection.”
Gross anatomy/Not so bad anatomy
“We’re a pharmaceutical company. We should be getting ‘pharm’ subsidies.”
“We better change that sign.”
Organ Exchange Bank
“Rob and I are compatible in every way. Even our bone marrow matches.”
Early Detection